Hi.
Nice to meet you. I’m writing this for therapy, I suppose. If I didn’t find humor in these, I would probably end up in tears. First of all, I’m a single guy. By single, I mean I’ve never been kissed. Oh, did I forget to mention I’m nearly 20 years old? Yeah. Almost half way to landing the star role in a Steve Carrell movie sequel. That’s not to say I’m against philandering, I’m just bad at it. Bad, at it, yes, but definitely not for a lack of trying. Some of the highlights in my love life would include:
- Go on a date with the girl’s parents attending (and by attending I mean sat directly behind us in a movie theater for two hours. How romantic.) Check.
- Have a girl show up at the appointed meeting place with her boyfriend in tow and having her greet me by saying, “So, are you good at writing papers?” Check.
- Fall in love with a girl that is banging a teacher. Game set and match.
I’m really starting to believe that some deity has a personal vendetta against me having a female companion. My love life has become the running joke for all of my friends. That’s not to say I’m bitter. A wise man once told me, “It is what it is”, and that’s what it is. In hindsight, these stories are humorous, but at the time, they were gut wrenching (and perhaps they still are).
Before you dismiss me as a bigoted, misogynist, hear me out. I’m the nice guy. The guy that always holds doors, is polite, and you would love to take home to your mother. I just want a steady relationship with an intelligent female, that’s all. I’m certain that my future posts will vindicate me, and eradicate and sense of scorn you may have for me. I’ve just had a lot of bad (good?) luck.
So, without further adieu, I present to you the rantings of a single guy.
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